Here's something I might have mentioned earlier but didn't:
On Friday I went down to the Knitting Factory (which is not a knitting factory at all, but rather a rock-and/or-roll venue) and saw the
Thor The Rock Warrior play rock and/or roll.
My face was rocked off.
Maybe Thor is coming to
your town to rock your face off as well?
People who keep the blogs like to look at the search terms that bring people to their pages. Then they like to tell you about it. I'm no exception.
Mostly random people come to my website looking for "Camel Toe;" 2,589 people in August alone! That's a lot of camel toe.
If you put the words "camel toe" into google image search, this picture of a wax figure of wonder woman's camel toe will be on the 4th page:
I'm no expert on search-engine-optimization or photography, but I see many help-wanted ads on craigslist looking for people to "write" web-pages that trick google into putting websites high in its listings for things like home-refinancing, cheap Cialis, or contract murder. Doing a job like that would be depressing and horrible, but I'd probably take it because I have low self-esteem. (I'm infinitely qualified too! Look at the coup I staged with "camel toe"). But then, really I wouldn't take a job like that because they don't pay much, and I have to maintain my jet-set lifestyle.
Anyway, One person typed "what are the new pick up truck grills called" into google, and ended up here. I have no answers for him. I'm sorry.
Also, someone was looking for "whip whipping."
When I mention the names of my friends, there are usually a few hits for them. That's because they're searching their own name on google, I think. Admit you do this.
I'm making up these names to see if people called this will this come to my site:
Barry McGillicutty
Seargant Reginald Sourapple
Puddin' Face Joe
Cassie Flibbert
Dinah Smeller
Ol' Fishface
Bruce Tabort
Shabadoo Greer
Bjorn Goldfarb
If you are named these things, please send me an email or a comment.
People Who Yell "Whoo!" 1) People at rock concerts (during the quiet parts.)
2) A guy going white-water-rafting for the first time.
3) College drunks.
4) Those girls in those
Girls Gone Wild videos, while lifting their shirts.
5) Dullards.
People Who Never Yell "Whoo!"1) Old librarian.
2) Depressed people.
3) Churchill.
4) Me.
5) You. (probably)
My wife and I saw The White Stripes play last night. I have mixed feelings about that band. Sometimes I like their music, but sometimes they sound like warmed-over Led Zeppelin with a really bad drummer... or they remind me of that scene in
Ghost World where Steve Buschemi watches "Blues Hammer" butcher a an olf delta-blues tune. Like they're trying to be in a tradition to which they don't belong.
I have no mixed feelings about the crowd, however.
Man, what a bunch of honkies!
Here's how out-of-the-loop I am: Before last night, I thought The White Stripes were a "cool" band that a select group of fringe-dwelling music heads liked. Nope. They had a legion of K-ROQ doofuses (doofii?) barely clapping along to all their big hits. Here's a transcript of a conversation I overheard while waiting to buy beer before the show.
Dude 1: What's the best concert you ever saw?
Dude 2: (thinking) Man... had to be BUFFET, dude. Jimmy Buffet. That guy is still going. I don't think he'll ever stop playing, because when you're a man like Buffet, you gotta keep going, dude.
Dude 1: Yeah.The popularity of White Stripes among Jimmy Buffett fans is surprising at first: White Stripes try to be both artsy AND fartsy in a way you wouldn't think would appeal to many people, but I figured it out halfway through the show...
The lack of bass guitar puts people at ease while they're listening to re-hashed psuedo-blues guitar riffs that remind them of classic rock. Then, as the topper, Meg White's incredibly primitive drumming makes it easy for even the whitest white person to find the beat.
Although I will say this for Meg White: She may be a suck-ass drum player, but when she sings, it's even worse.
Later, at the encore, Beck came out and played a couple songs. That was cool. He played bass on some track and it was like a light went on in their music. Hey, White Stripes! You'd sound better with a bass player! Seriously. You'd sound much better. Please. Get a bass player at least some time, okay?
But anyway, I had fun at the rock show. Earlier I went to the beach. Swimming in the Pacific ocean=big time fun.
Here's a sidenote to the guy who sat behind me: I'm glad you know all of the lyrics to the music you enjoy. Thank you for your contribution to the show! The way you shouted all the words to every song in my ear (and sang along with THE GUITAR RIFFS) really added to my rocking-out pleasure. Also, thank you for yelling "WhOOOOOOOOO!" every time there was a was a quiet moment in the show. I
loved it!
