After the debacle with the princess, but my heart is hardened, but I haven't given up on finding love with a Nubian Princess. Dig this, from my new girlfriend.
Dear Tuco
I must say first of all thank you very much for your
mail am so greatful for you answering me.as you have
read from my previous mail am from the republic of
sierra leone ,but am here in Senegal with my aged
mother because of the death of my father who was
killed by the rebel during the fight for diamond and
gold by the government forces and the rebels.
Our major purpose of relocating from sierra leone to
senegal is to look for a relaible foriegner who will
assist us in transfering this deposited money which my
father deposited with a security company and he
seriously warned me been the beneficiary and next of
kin that i shouldn't invest the money in my war
ravaged country that is why i decided to look for a
trustworthy partner(foriegner) who can assist me in
this course.
Am currently been taken care of by the United Nation
high commission for refugee but they are no longer
caring about us things have been so difficult for me
imagine since four months ago we haven't received any
supplements from them like food and little money for
upkeeping so i only hope on God for his help.It was
through my time of fasting and prayer that i prayed to
God and asked him to provide me and my old mum
somebody who will help us to effect the transfer of
the consignment to his country so that we can come
over and start doing something with the money,i mean
investing the money with the help of you.
I was formely a second year student in the university
but due to financial constraint i decided to leave
school and i started working in a restaurant as a
sales girl and my madam is really making life hard and
difficult for me,could you imagine she asked me one
night to go and make love with one of her customer who
use to come to the restaurant to eat but i refused
because i have made an oath with God that it is only
the man that will marry me i will give myself to,am
beautiful and i have the fear of God in me because of
this i was driven out of the restaurant unpaid for
that month,so i seek your full support in helping me
and my mother out,i have all the document to back up
the effect of the transfer of the consignment to you
based only on your sincere and honest mind of helping
me,because as soon as i present you as the reciever of
the consignment abroad and forward your application to
the security company they will have to do it
immediatley because of the documents i have with me.
Please i really need your assistance to effect the
transfer of the money which was deposited in a box to
your country,it was deposited in the security and
finance company as a family treasure nobody knows
about the content except me and my mother and you that
i will present as my foriegn bartner
Based on the successful transfering of the money i and
my mother will come over to your country for
investment purposes and you will have to be our
director in this regards,remember we are going to
reward you financially for the effort and help which
you will render to us.
I will like you to handle this transaction with
ultmost secrecy because of my status here been an
asylum seeker am not permitted to own or operate a
bank account and also for the security of my family
because of the Government trace back home.
Based on your acceptance to assist us with a sincere
and honest mind (because we don't want to loose our
money since it is our life)i will give you the contact
address of the security company so that you can
contact them and ask them the proceedure for the
transfer of the consignment.
Hope to hear from you soonest.Please i will like to
know your Age,nationality and your profession also
your phone numbers
Miss Kumba
Miss Kumba is high maintenance and she whines a lot: "Wah wah wah, my father was killed by rebels and I can't get the money out of the safe deposit box. Wah Wah Wah, my boss tried to turn me out. Wah Wah Wah, I don't have enough food." I should call her a wahmbulance.
I responded like this:
Dear Miss Kumba:
All you seem to do is complain. You have to toughen up if you're going to get anywhere in the world.
Anyway, what do I need to do? Spell it out clearly: I'm a very busy and important man. How much money are we talking about so I can see if it's worth my time?
Also: I need a token of your trust to make sure you're honest in order to proceed with the transaction. I've heard bad things about the honesty of foreign people. You can't trust anyone these days.
What god do you pray to? I'm a weekend deacon and youth leader at Christ's Church of Cthulhu.
You're not a jew, are you?
--Tuco
